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Junkfood Cinema: Battle Beyond the Stars
11/20/2009 4:10:35 PM
Editor's Note: We hope you enjoy this new Friday afternoon column, Junkfood Cinema, by Brian Salisbury. It celebrates movies that are so bad, even though they are also sometimes so good. For more (coming each and every Friday), stay tuned to the Junkfood Cinema Archive. Also, please feel free to let us know what you think of this new weekly feature in the comment section below. Battle Beyond the Stars Directed by: Jimmy T. Murakami Written by: John Sayles & Anne Dyer Produced by: Roger Corman, Ed Carlin, & Mary Ann Fisher Starring: George Peppard, Robert Vaughn, John Saxon, and Richard Thomas For this second helping of Junkfood Cinema I will gorge myself on Battle Beyond the Stars.  Operating a bad movie column, it was merely a matter of time before I snacked on something from the Roger Corman.  He is the sultan of schlock and a genius in the art of box office manipulation.  If you are unfamiliar with his work, go out and rent A Bucket of Blood, Deathrace 2000, and Humanoids From the Deep.  Granted, he didn't direct Deathrace or Humanoids, but his camp-covered fingerprints can be found all over any film he produces as well.  Corman is a man who understands the irrefutable drawing power of boobs, blood, and mayhem; his entire catalogue is chock full of it.  But Corman also understands film trends and how best to trick audiences into seeing his movies time and time again.  Case in point, Battle Beyond the Stars was his brilliant plan for capitalizing on Star Wars.  And before you paint the man as nothing more than a hack, bear in mind that Battle Beyond the Starsis an intergalactic remake of Akira Kurosawa's The Seven Samurai.  I wish I could fabricate information that incredible. If you've seen The Seven Samurai, the plot of Battle Beyond the Stars should sound very familiar.  An evil overlord, bent on conquering the entire universe, sets his sights on the bountiful, and totally defenseless planet of Akir.  He threatens them, bullies them, and warns them that he will return for their crops and their vows of total submission in seven risings of their Red Giant.  What is a completely wuss planet to do?  They decide to let young Shad venture into the unknown and gather mercenaries willing to fight for the survival of Akir.  He gathers seven ronin outcasts and heads home for what promises to be the most epic battle of 1980. What Makes It Bad? I honestly don't know where to begin.  The movie's central setting is a planet with advanced computers that has mastered space travel and weapons controlled by xylophones(yup).  But in an apparent effort to fly in the face of logic, a Corman trait if I ever saw one, these people live in caves, eat from clay pots, and display a aptitude for medicine that would shame a shaman.  What the hell?  Not to mention the fact that from this paradoxical planet is spawned Shad, arguably the weeniest hero of the decade.  This kid is so wimpy, I don't know whether to root ...
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Michael Bay Still Loves Megan Fox
11/20/2009 4:10:35 PM
Despite their on-again, off-again routine of media spats, Michael Bay still has a thing for actress Megan Fox. Which means that her Transformers character Mikaela Banes will be surviving on into the next film, Transformers 3. While he was chillin' at the Victoria's Secret Show this week in New York, Bay was wrestled to the ground by USA Today reporter Andrea Mandell and forced to make a comment on Fox, who has been in the news lately due to some oddly acrobatic underwear photos she took for The New York Times (one of which can be seen above). On Fox, Bay said "I love her." Then followed up with an explanation of her role in the next Transformers film. “She’s got a great part in Transformers 3” he promised. When asked if he would kill her off: “No, no, no. She gets enough of that already”. When probed about the little scuffle that he and Fox had in the press recently, Bay was magnanimous: She called me [after the Hitler comment] and goes, ‘It’s all bullshit, Mike.’ The press, they just like to prey, and stalk, and pounce and find a good little juicy thing. But she’s always wanted to do these crazy comments. That’s just her. She’s great. As you can clearly see, all is well in the world of Michael Bay and Megan Fox. Which unfortunately means that if all this is true, we will not see her death in Transformers 3, something that I know a lot of you were looking toward with much anticipation. We will have a grief counselor on staff all day here at FSR to talk it out with you in the comment section below. Photo above courtesy of Megan-Fox.net
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Mia Wasikowski is the New Jane Eyre?
11/20/2009 4:10:35 PM
I was looking forward to seeing Ellen Page as Jane Eyre, wondering how she would handle the role of the poor governess from the wrong side of the moors. The star of Juno might have been able to bring a new twist to a character that has been filmed at least nineteen times. Or could be a thousand. IMDb isn't always accurate.  My favorite  Jane is Andrea Martin in the Second City TV "Jane Airhead". Her work in the role stands alone. As for serious Jane's the role has been played by Charlotte Gainsborough, Joan Fontaine, Samantha Morton.  Anna Paquin played the young version of Jane to Morton's grown up Jane. My apologies to the multitude of Janes unnamed but that would go on for too many paragraphs. So many Jane Eyres, so little time. Now according to Variety, Mia Wasikowski, Alice in Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland is in talks to step into the role of the plain Jane governess who finds true love with Mr. Rochester, that guy with the crazy first wife residing in the attic of his foreboding mansion Thornfield.  Michael Fassbender (300, Inglourious Basterds), is reported to be in talks to play the miserable brooding, yet of course handsome Mr. Rochester. The word from is the original casting of  the Canadian Page as the very British Jane didn't sit well among the British. I say that's why it's called acting. Actors play people unlike themselves, remember? But, I can understand their pain. Too many British favorites were being poached by actors in North America. Losing the colonies was a tough blow, but losing Bridget Jones and Beatrix Potter to Renee Zellweger, Jane Austin to Anne Hathaway was too too much. Either way it didn't matter since Page dropped out and the casting call has Mia Wasikowski on the Jane Eyre radar. Sin nombre" director Cary Fukunaga will helm the newest incarnation of Charlotte Bronte's tale of  brooding love among depressed miserable people with seriously messed up secrets. Alright, I'm being harsh, but do we need yet another Jane Eyre? What do you think? Do we need yet another visit to Jane Eyre, Edward Rochester and his ward Adele?
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Review: The Twilight Saga: New Moon
11/20/2009 4:10:35 PM
I was always taught that if you're going to do something, you might as well do it right. And in my mind, there isn't a more apt application for such a life theory than in the adaptation of popular novels into films. When you think about these popular literary franchise -- many of whom have rabid fan bases -- it is hard to imagine making a movie (or in this case, two) out of them that are subpar. As we've seen with the Harry Potter franchise, the key is to take the story from the books and build upon it. Find good actors, dazzle the fan base with great special effects and make the film's accessible enough so that folks outside the fan base will be drawn in, and ultimately drawn into the world of the books as well. It's a reverse method of getting people to read more -- make the movies interesting enough, and folks will go after the rest of the story. Not so with the Twilight franchise, at least not up to this point. With the release of New Moon, the second in a line of four films to be released by Summit Entertainment, the Twilight franchise has succeeded in doing only one thing: appeasing its built-in fan base. Which is sad, because such a rabid fan base deserves something better -- something that will reach out to the rest of the world and invite others to see what they see. Sadly, this is not that case -- and while its easy to say that some people just won't "get" this operatic tale of love seen through the eyes of a teen girl, I would rather blame lazy filmmaking. New Moon picks up where the first Twilight film left off, with Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) locked in a heated, yet abstinent, love affair. But after a freak accident at Bella's birthday party puts her life in danger, Edward leaves her in hopes of giving her a chance at a normal life -- one that doesn't involve brooding over a vampire. Left with emptiness in her heart, Bella weeps for Edward for several months, eventually emerging slightly from her depression to forge a new friendship with the constantly shirtless Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner), a now-meaty friend who is going through a few odd changes himself. As Bella digs deeper into Jacob's life, she soon finds out that he isn't all that he seems either. From there, we find out about the true nature of Jacob and his tribe and -- spoiler alert -- their sweet ancestry of being werewolves. At this point, director Chris Weitz sets in and delivers two of the few shining achievements of New Moon. One is the development of Jacob as a character, aided by a solid performance from Taylor Lautner. After a movie and a third of watching Bella with Edward, it is almost sweet to see her engaging with someone who might have some depth to them, even if he does ...
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The Orphanage Remake Caught in Limbo
11/20/2009 4:10:35 PM
There has been talk about a remake of the hit Spanish horror film The Orphanage for some time. In August, director Larry Fessenden (Wendigo) was commissioned by producer Guillermo Del Toro to adapt the script and direct. But we've heard nothing since. Today, according to an interview that Arrow in the Head conducted with Fassenden, it appears as if the remake is in a bit of trouble. According to the long-time actor/director, he's off the project after having some trouble in the casting process: THE ORPHANAGE was two years of waiting. Working on the script with Guillermo was a very exciting experience, but then I got into a casting miasma and that’s where the thing is; I think they’re gonna do it another way, actually. So I think I’m out of it. Hopefully they’ll still use my script, but I’m not sure I’m directing it anymore. That’s Hollywood for ya. That is Hollywood, indeed. With his time currently sunk completely into work on The Hobbit with Peter Jackson, it is hard to say how much time Guillermo Del Toro will have to go out and find a new director for the remake, leaving the film in a state of limbo. The original film -- which told the story of a woman whose son goes missing after making friends with a mysterious boy at an old orphanage -- stands well on its own, and if this makes for the end of the effort to remake it for American audiences, I doubt that many fans would have a problem with that.
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Underworld 4 Gets a Writer from The Shield
11/20/2009 4:10:35 PM
Writer John Hlavin has been around the block. He's written several episodes of The Shield, the incredibly popular FX show, and episodes of Trust Me, the recently canceled TNT drama. But none of that will compare with the watchful eyes that will be upon his next project, as he signs on to pen the fourth installment in the Underworld franchise for Screen Gems and Lakeshore Entertainment. The fourth film -- which still does not have a director attached -- is "not a prequel," says Hlavin, who according to Heat Vision is keeping the plot under wraps. "It will satisfy old fans and excite new audiences," he added. "Meaning that we don't want to redo the first three movies, so steps are being taken to honor what fans have loved but at the same time introduce fresh elements." Original Underworld star Kate Beckinsale did not return for the third film, which starred Rhona Mitra and Michael Sheen, and there's no reason for us to expect her back for the fourth. No word yet on the involvement of her husband Len Wiseman, who served as director on the first two and producer on the third, but it is also likely that he will not have much of an active role, as he's currently busy with about 20 other projects. As well, Underworld: Rise of the Lycans director has two films currently in development, I, Frankenstein and Nonstop, so it is difficult to speculate whether or not he would return for another round. As always, we will keep you updated as the story develops.
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Uma Thurman, Kristin Scott Thomas Get Hot for Robert Pattinson
11/20/2009 4:10:35 PM
Uma Thurman has the Edward Cullen bug, just like every other gal in America. On the dawn of New Moon, the latest release in the Twilight franchise, comes the news that Thurman has joined the production of Bel Ami, based on a short story by Guy de Maupassant. According to THR, Thurman has signed on to star opposite Robert Pattinson, who will play George Duroy, a young journalist who rose from poverty to become one of the most successful men in Paris via the ruthless and calculating bedding of the city's most glamorous and influential women. Thurman will play the wife of Duroy's friend, a woman who is extremely involved and connected in the happenings of Parisian society. She helps Duroy during his journey and eventually becomes his wife. Kristin Scott Thomas has also joined the cast, and will play a socialite who also falls for Duroy, becoming clingy in the process. London theater director Declan Donnellan will be making his feature debut with the pic, which shoots in Paris early next year.
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Jason Lee Turns Director, Finds The Beatles
11/20/2009 4:10:35 PM
It appears as if Brodie from Mallrats is all grown up. Jason Lee is taking on a new TV show to follow the end of the run for My Name is Earl on TNT, a pilot called Delta Blues that will be executive produced by George Clooney. As well, Lee is stepping into the director's chair to direct the indie film Get Back, according to THR. Get Back is a time travelling adventure about two music obsessives transported to the 1960s, where one of them gets into a love triangle with John Lennon and Yoko Ono. It's a premise that lends itself to the laid-back sentiments of Lee, as well as a potentially great soundtrack (although it should be noted that getting the rights to the anthology of The Beatles is no easy task). It's nice to see Lee branching out and getting behind the camera, as he's long been a popular persona in front of it. I'm interested to see how he does, as we've seen some very good actor-to-director conversions as of late, including Office star John Krasinski's debut Brief Interviews with Hideous Men. As well, you can never really go wrong with a movie about The Beatles, can you?
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Brett Ratner to Finally Go Fly ‘Kites’
11/20/2009 4:10:35 PM
We've been suggesting for years that Brett Ratner get over himself and go fly a kite. Which as you may know is an expression for getting lost, taking a long walk off a short pier, or just generally ceasing to exist. Well, now Ratner is going to fly a kite, its just not the right kind. According to THR, the Rush Hour director has been tasked with re-editing an English-language version of Kites, from Indian director Anurag Basu. The film is set to be released internationally by Reliance BIG Pictures, who wants to have one version in Hindi to play in India and one version in English to play elsewhere. The film stars Hrithick Roshan and Barbara Mori and tells the story of  a mortally wounded man who is left for dead in the heat of the desert sun. This is J. Once a street smart, carefree young guy. Now, a wanted man. As death looms, the only thing that keeps him alive is the quest to find the love of his life, Natasha. A woman betrothed to another man, but surely destined for J. A woman who comes into his life like a bolt of lightning and changes it forever. The film was shot in Las Vegas, Mumbai, New Mexico and Los Angeles.
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Steven Spielberg and Stephen King Go ‘Under the Dome’
11/20/2009 4:10:35 PM
Steven Spielberg and Stephen King are getting together to make a supernatural thriller. Sold yet? According to Variety, Dreamworks TV is developing a limited series based on the recently released King novel Under the Dome, a supernatural thriller that unfolds after an invisible force field is suddenly descends on a small vacation town in Maine. The locals take to fighting for their survival, but end up in a sort of Lord of the Flies situation that involves plenty of in-fighting. Dreamworks is currently out looking for writers, which they will hire before they look to sell it to a network. And from where I'm sitting, it sounds like the kind of thing that could work for a cable network such as HBO or Showtime, but I wouldn't rule out a primetime friendly version made for a major network like ABC. Here's a full description of the book's synopsis: On an entirely normal, beautiful fall day in Chester’s Mill, Maine, the town is inexplicably and suddenly sealed off from the rest of the world by an invisible force field. Planes crash into it and fall from the sky in flaming wreckage, a gardener’s hand is severed as “the dome” comes down on it, people running errands in the neighboring town are divided from their families, and cars explode on impact. No one can fathom what this barrier is, where it came from, and when — or if — it will go away. Dale Barbara, Iraq vet and now a short-order cook, finds himself teamed with a few intrepid citizens — town newspaper owner Julia Shumway, a physician’s assistant at the hospital, a select-woman, and three brave kids. Against them stands Big Jim Rennie, a politician who will stop at nothing — even murder — to hold the reins of power, and his son, who is keeping a horrible secret in a dark pantry. But their main adversary is the Dome itself. Because time isn’t just short. It’s running out. The book itself has been getting high praise from all over. Author Neil Gaiman called it one of his "favourite books of the year," while Publisher's Weekly called it "formidably complex and irresistibly compelling." Like any work of Stephen King though, there will be trepidation in the hearts of fans as an adaptation is developed -- quite often King's work doesn't translate as well to screen, for various reasons. Of course, King has never been adapted by Spielberg and crew. Spielberg did hold the rights to The Talisman for over 20-years, but was never able to make anything of it. Lets hope things go better this time around. You can pick up a copy of Under the Dome, which was released on November 10th, over at Amazon. Also, check out this promotional video for the book below.
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2012
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