Quit Being A Tomlinson
8/28/2013 10:30:00 AM
PRISONER PEN PAL:
We’re big in prisons, and our latest prisoner pen pal sent us a strange collection of things, including a greeting card and an ad with a random chick’s head (is that what he think Deb looks like?). Most importantly he included an order sheet for the prison commissary. We played a little Price Is Right and found out that panties are only $2.25, but sour cream chips are $2.50. Good thing the prison staple of “pony tail holders” are only $0.25.
Wednesdays we shine a light on That Guy – the guy (or girl) who does something douchey and either doesn't realize it or doesn’t apologize for it. This week it’s Misses His Fantasy Football Draft Guy. While we have not had our J&D League draft yet, Jason’s already making a preemptive strike against Deb, trying to keep her from missing it on Sunday. Because she will forget. If you have a suggestion for what Deb’s team name should be, e-mail email@example.com.
NICK WAS A LITTLE LATE:
Producer Nick has a bit of a tardiness habit, but today set a new record. While he will protest that the reason he walked in the door at 7:46 was because he bought breakfast for everyone, we’re suspecting it’s that he was too drunk last night calling bingo. Or because he spent several hours shaving his terrorist beard off.
DUMB QUESTION AMNESTY:
If you want to ask a question without fear of people laughing, all you have to do is put “Dumb Question Amnesty” in front of it. As she was taking her dog, Blue, for a walk around the neighborhood park, she noticed some fish in a stream that is sometimes there and sometimes not. Where do they go? Do they die and then get reanimated into fish zombies? No, it’s more likely that they’re just swimming where the water goes, so they came from some body of water and they’re going to another one. That or zombie fish. Either way.
MIXING PEOPLE UP (AGAIN):
Yesterday we found out that Jason mistook his dog for a stranger’s three whole times, and Deb just thought he was the worst. But Deb one-upped him. She commented “Love” on one of her best friend’s Instagram picture. Only it wasn’t her. Surely not knowing what your friend looks like is worse than not knowing your dog.
We're all about supporting animal charities and bringing you the happiness of animals in your own home. So you should check out our friends at Love-A-Bull, who are currently looking for a home for Benny. He’s an extremely affectionate and sweet pit-bull terrier who loves to give kisses. Give him and the other adopt-a-bulls a look here.
I LOVE YOU CALL:
At 8:50 Deb calls a random business and tries to get the person answering the phone to say, “I love you.” Today she called the University of Alabama, where she was transferred to three different people in under 3 minutes. Finally she spoke with Tamara in Admissions, asking if it were too late to register for fall semester classes, claiming she needed to get back into learning, since she’s been doing too much partying. Well Tamara must take her academics and phone calls seriously, because she gave Deb no love.
DOES DEB KNOW STUFF:
Every day we “trivialize” Deb by asking her quiz questions, then laughing when she doesn’t know the answers. Today she had In-N-Out Burger Secret Menu trivia. What does it mean when you order “protein style?” She correctly guessed that they replace the buns with lettuce. What about a “Flying Dutchman?” Deb thought she guessed right that it’s doubling everything, but Nick just marked it wrong on the sheet – it’s actually when they take away the bun and give you two patties with some cheese.
Eminem released a new track that samples both the Beastie Boys (cool) and Billy Squier (WTF). You can listen to it (EXPLICIT!) here.
Johnny Manziel was NOT the topic of discussion at A&M’s press conference yesterday, so we have no update on him. Yes, this is news.