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Posted 8/23/2013 8:00:00 AM

Alright, everyone. Apparently it’s official.

Ben Affleck has been cast as Batman / Bruce Wayne in the upcoming movie, Batman vs. Superman (starring Henry Cavill from the recent Man of Steel flick).

First off can we say that there are SOME SERIOUS ISSUES WITH THIS DECISION. I mean, we’re not saying he’s a horrible choice. Maybe we should watch the movie first before we judge his performance. But Affleck already played another superhero: Daredevil / Matt Murdock. Okay, yes, Daredevil is a marvel guy and Batman bats for DC so we don’t have to worry about them playing around in the same universe, but come on guys. You had to pick an actor for a superhero movie that already ruined another superhero movie.

That being said, he’s a pretty good actor. I mean, he has to be, right? He won some stuff for Argo. The Town was pretty good. In Hollywoodland, he played George Reeves who used to play Superman. Then again, there was DaredevilGigli….Jersey Girl….the jury is out on Armageddon.

Obviously the guys who make the decisions over at DC or Warner Bros or whatever aren’t doing a good job. So we’ll do it for them

Here are some of our favorite previous versions of Batman and our top picks for people to play them.


Top Three:
1) Michael Keaton
2) Adam West
3) Bob Kane (the original Batman comic artist)


Top Pick to Play:
Philip Seymour Hoffman



Top Three:
1) Christian Bale
2) Michael Keaton
3) “That’s all I give a s*** about.”


Top Pick to Play:
Jason Dick



Honorary #1 - Kevin Conroy (Sure, he's only voiced the character, but it was/is the best performance with the most depth of feeling and accuracy to the source material that has ever been or probably will be.) 

1) Christian Bale     (No one else quite went to the effort of distinguishing so well between Bruce Wayne and Batman, including doing the much-maligned-for-better-or-for-worse raspy voice.)

2) Adam West    (I realize this may be a controversial choice, but I think you have to give credit where credit is due:  he was a psychedelic, satirical Batman for a psychedelic, satirical time.  His Bruce Wayne is as much of a player as they come, and his Batman was a total badass if you take his exploits at face value.  Case in point:  Shark Repellant Spray.)

3) Michael Keaton     (His was the first Batman who took the role seriously, but his Bruce Wayne is absolutely terrible.)

4) Val Kilmer     (The moments where the film stops focusing on his rubber suit's nipples and concentrate on his origin story and tortured past gave his performance little blips of pathos.)

5) George Clooney     (The real tragedy is that his movie was so ridiculous, we'll never know if he would have made a truly great Batman with a truly great script.  I tend to think he would have, but that will not come to be.)

**Honorable mention to Lewis Wilson from the old Batman serials - he did the best he could have done with that ridiculous mask.***


Top Picks to Play:
1) Armie Hammer (I was so disgusted that he was the Lone Ranger when I found out he was almost Batman in the now-dead Justice League film that I don't even have the words.  But dye that blonde hair, dude.)

2) Jonathan Rhys Meyers (As long as we're exporting our American heroes overseas, why not get an Irish pretty-but-brooding actor in the mix? Aside from his TERRIBLE turn in the new Mortal Instruments movie, he definitely has the acting chops to pull it off.)

3) Dave Franco (This is probably a crazy choice, but I think it'd be interesting. Sure, he's too short and he'd have to do some serious work on his voice, but why not try something new and different?)

4) Jon Hamm (He's probably a little too old, but he might just be the all-American hunk that we need. Look at that chin.)
5) Jake Gyllenhaal (He's been a badass as a cop a couple of times recently, and remember how terrifying he was in Donnie Darko? This guy can really act, and maybe that's what we need.)

6) Matt Bomer (Superman and Batman should look exactly the same. In response to Henry Cavill's Superman, let's have this guy. At least he's from America.)



Top Three:
1) Christian Bale
2) Michael Keaton
3) Will Friedle (voice of Terry McGinnis in Batman Beyond)


Top Pick to Play:
1) Karl Urban
2) George Clooney again
3) Clive Owen
4) Russel Crowe


Web Girl

Top Three:
1) Frank Miller’s Batman - It doesn't matter if we're technically talking about actors. Still the best Batman ever.
2) Christian Bale
3) Val Kilmer...just kidding, he just deserves recognition for being the worst. Although I have to give a special shout-out to George Clooney because he was the silverscreen Batman that I grew up with. My brother and I used to watch Batman and Robin EVERYDAY for one summer. No joke.


Top Picks to Play:
1) JGL - Ummm, isn't Joseph Gordon-Levitt supposed to be Batman or Nightwing according to the end of the The Dark Knight Rises? WHY AREN'T WE JUST CONTINUING THIS STORY LINE BECAUSE IT'S EVERYONE'S FAVORITE?
2) Armie Hammer - Just listen to that voice. Mmmmmm.....
3) Karl Urban - I don't care if he was Dredd because nobody reeeeeally cares about Dredd. Urban is an AWESOME actor.
4) Abed from Community

Posted By: Nicole  
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