I'm Not Gonna Have A Penis-Off With You
6/28/2013 10:10:00 AM
C OF THE WEEK:
On Fridays Deb calls the one person who’s wronged her the most that week the C Word – the worst word in the world, although she usually uses it jovially. According to Deb this has been a pretty good week for American courts, what with DOMA and Prop 8 being struck down. However, Rick Perry recently called a second special session of the Texas Senate to force SB5 through. All of those men trying to regulate Deb’s womb (and plenty of other women's wombs, too) are this week’s “C” of the week.
Deb went to the store and bought Jason’s roommate a steak, but it mostly just served to reveal that Deb doesn’t really know much about meat. In fact this was apparently the first time she bought meat! She doesn’t know whether or not she bought a good piece of steak or if Jason’s roommate will like it, but she was proud of doing this good deed. So much kindness from Deb today!
Last year a friend of Jason’s went on one date with a guy and, after one date, she received a nude wang from this guy. Jason and his friends now take turns text-bombing each other with it, and Jason even had Nick photoshop his roommate's face on to it. Fast forward to yesterday when another one of Jason’s friends posted a picture of their newborn baby to Facebook. After encouragement from Jason and his roommate, Nick photoshopped this baby’s head onto the wang pic. Some people, like Jason and our IT guy, think this new monstrosity is pretty hilarious, while other people like the baby’s parents aren’t nearly as amused. Listeners were generally pretty grossed out, too.
DUMB QUESTION AMNESTY:
If you want to ask a question without fear of people laughing, all you have to do is put “Dumb Question Amnesty” in front of it. Today Jason asks everyone if Jenny from Forrest Gump died of AIDS. The movie was never clear on what disease she had, but a quick Wikipedia search reveals that yes, Jenny probably died of AIDS.
DEB BUYS “WHATAFRIES”:
At Central Market, Deb found Whataburger brand french fry potato chips, cleverly named "Whatafries," and thought that they would be a perfect gift for her coworkers! Well, she brought them in to the studio today...and they honestly looked pretty unappealing to everyone else, so what Deb had imagined as a lovely act of kindness and a "gift from the heart" fell flat. Regardless, Deb remained adamant that her Whatafries were quite delicious.
DENNIS DE LA PENA:
Fridays we talk to a real sports expert, Dennis De La Pena from Fox 7 Sports. Today we talked about Aaron Hernandez and his recent legal troubles. Then we talked about Myck Kabongo, former UT basketball player, who went undrafted in last night’s NBA Draft. If you know Myck tell him we're always looking for new interns.
PET OF THE WEEK:
We're all about supporting animal charities and bringing you the happiness of animals in your own home. So you should check out our friends at Love-A-Bull, who are currently looking for a home for Jack Blac, who promises to be at least as funny as his namesake. He's great with people and other dogs. Give him and the other adopt-a-bulls a look here.
I LOVE YOU CALL:
At 8:50 Deb calls a random business and tries to get the person answering the phone to say, “I love you.” Today she called Keegan Construction Materials in North Haven, Connecticut and went with the patented “wrong number” approach, claiming that she meant to call her mum. The call ended extremely quickly and without an “I love you.” Deb took a gamble today and it didn’t pay off, but hey, that’s life.
DOES DEB KNOW STUFF:
Every day we “trivialize” Deb by asking her quiz questions, then laughing when she doesn’t know the answers. Today we ask Deb to take a type of steak and tell us where on a cow it is taken from. First question: where does flank steak come from? Well, Deb used “brains and science” to deduce that it comes from the butt of the cow...but she was wrong. Turns out flank stake comes from the cow's stomach/side area. So much for brains and science. Next up was round steak and Deb again guessed butt, but this time she was correct!
Aaron Hernandez, former tight end for the New England Patriots, is now a suspect in another criminal case, this one a drive-by double murder from last summer. It sounds to us like Hernandez could have used some sort of summer camp or constructive activity with which to occupy his time during the offseason, as opposed to driving around shooting people.
The Paula Deen saga continues and the sponsors continue dropping like flies. Yesterday she was dropped by Home Depot, Target, and diabetes drug maker Novo Nordisk, and thus the downward spiral continues.
Alec Baldwin went on a Twitter rant yesterday after a writer for the Daily Mail wrote that Baldwin’s wife was tweeting during James Gandolfini’s funeral. Baldwin called the writer a “toxic Brit” and a “toxic little queen.” Nice.