You Can’t Fake The Funk
5/21/2012 10:12:00 AM
Deb had her first roasting of the season this weekend. Check out her with a bunch of sunburn stripes across her back and legs. Ouch. She’s mad at mankind for not being good at applying sunblock. Her buddy Matt put it on her back, but he missed a lot. Look, if you take away anything from this, here it is: she’d rather be groped than burned.
TRUTH OR PAIR:
In this game you can ask Jason & Deb any question you want, and they can either tell you the Truth or give you a Pair of tickets to that thing you love. Jason was asked if he had ever been attracted to another man. Truth – he’ll tell you if there’s a good-lookin’ dude around, but he’s never had any sexual urges toward them. Men are gross. Another listener asked Deb when the last time was she faked an orgasm. It was a long time ago – she doesn’t play that game anymore. Finally Deb got the question: who was that famous guy you were recently dating? Well, his name is a little difficult to pronounce, but it’s spelled P-A-I-R. Aw, man.
NAKED ON THE INTERNET:
There are pictures of Jason hitting the web that show a lot of him. Thanks to Bad John Paul who took some risqué pictures of Jason and Deb on Friday. When Jason showed up, Deb was still being made-up and costumed, so she warned him, “You might see a nipple here.” Oh, no. Jason wanted his to be like BJP’s series of hot dudes showing their junk, but when the time came, he said, “my stuff’s not ready.” So we got this instead. He’s upset he didn’t show more. Next time, Jason will employ a fluffer.
QUIEN ES MAS MACHO:
Jason will tell you he’s a man’s man’s man, and we put that to the test by pitting his weekend against a listener’s and seeing whose was mas macho. The listener’s weekend included lots of drinking and fist-pumping to “Working for the Weekend,” then doing lawnwork and chopping a snake’s head off with an axe while it was chasing his dog. What the hell? Jason did some “part-time modeling,” sent his drunken alter-ego DeWayne out on the town, ate some Hush Piggies at Bacon, and listened to Cajun music. In the end, the listeners gave the win to the listener. He battled a serpent!
PET OF THE WEEK:
Every week we feature a lovely adoptable dog. This week we're looking for a home for Billie. She's a very sweet puppy whose jaw and pelvis were broken. She’s having surgery on her pelvis and has already had surgery on her jaw, which will be wired shut for 6 weeks while it heals. If you’re interested in adopting Billie, email firstname.lastname@example.org for more information. While you’re at it go to Love-A-Bull and take a look, so we can give some other pups great new homes too.
I LOVE YOU CALL:
At 8:50 Deb calls a random business and tries to get the person answering the phone to say, “I love you.” Today Jason first dialed the number wrong. Several times. We tried to talk to ATT Customer Service but couldn’t work it out. Finally Jason got it right and Deb talked to the folks at Mattress Liquidators in Miami. Her “How are you today?” got a “Uh huh. Yes,” and it was all downhill from there. Despite her saying she loved their mattresses, she did not get any love. It’s all Jason’s fault.
DOES DEB KNOW STUFF:
Every day we “trivialize” Deb by asking her quiz questions, then laughing when she doesn’t know the answers. Today she had Mark Zuckerberg(er) Is Rich trivia. How many Dallas Cowboys Stadiums could he build right now? She guessed 14, which is right. How many Titanics could he build? She went with over 2,500. How many times richer is he than the amount Avatar made? She again knew that it was 6X richer. That’s, like, a lot of money.
NBC has fired Community creator Dan Harmon. While this isn’t surprising, given his feud with star Chevy Chase, Joel McHale said on our show Friday that this guy and Chevy were copacetic. So what’s the real truth? The world may never know.
The Spurs have achieved their second straight sweep in the NBA Playoffs, eliminating the Clippers and moving on.