I'm Back, Bitches
5/10/2012 10:02:00 AM
Jason and Deb went to New Orleans back in January. While they were there Deb went to a psychic with her friend Dave and got her palm read. Dave went back to New Orleans and saw the palm reader. She pulled him aside and asked him to tell Deb not to dye her hair. When Dave told Deb she freaked out – she had just made an appointment to get red highlights. If she didn’t believe in psychics she definitely does now and there’s no way she’s dying her hair red. Jason thinks she should just to test the palm reader’s psychic abilities. But what if her all her hair falls out? Then no one will love her.
THE MOTHER LOVER GAME:
In honor of Mother’s Day, we’re exploiting Mama Dick and Deb’s Mum by seeing if they can answer questions the same way as their children. Deb’s Mum knew that Deb’s first boyfriend was Nick Plummer. She guessed that she had never caught Deb fooling around with a boy, but Deb said she had. Deb’s Mum said if she could change one thing about Deb it would be fewer tattoos, but Deb was hoping it was that she lived back in England. Mama Dick said that Michaela was Jason’s first girlfriend, but Jason said it was Amy. Jason's mom said that she had only walked in on him fooling around one time, but Jason said zero. Jason knew that Mama Dick said the one thing she would change about Jason is that he would answer his phone when she called him. Jason and Deb tied this round, but Jason’s still in the lead. Look’s like there’s a plus to being a mama’s boy.
THE GOOGLE GAME:
Google will suggest some interesting things when you start typing in your search, and we made a game out of it, aptly named the Google Game (or “You Auto-Complete Me,” if you prefer). Jason knew that the top answer for “Larry” was Larry the Cable Guy and the top answer for “Five” was Five Guys. Jason and Deb both guessed that Purple Rain was in the top five for “Purple.” Deb knew that “Lars” led to Lars and the Real Girl, but that wasn’t enough to give her the come-from-behind win that she needed.
WHERE’S MY FLYING CAR?:
In this segment, Jason highlights something that scientists should have invented by now to make life better, but haven't - like the flying car. Oftentimes they've already been invented, and he just doesn't know about it yet. Jason’s a big fan of sunscreen (look at his skin, he needs it); but it doesn’t last long enough. Jason wants to start a Cinco de Mayo tradition where he goes in and gets all the sunscreen he needs for the summer. It could be like a spray tan, or even a pill he can take. Deb thinks that's a great idea. Jason doesn’t need the credit; he’s just trying to help the world.
Deb has a new injury from CrossFit. She did a bunch of sit-ups yesterday and rubbed the skin on her butt raw. This isn't the first time she's had this injury. The real problem is that she has no butt. Everyone else she works out with had butt padding while they were doing sit-ups, but Deb didn’t. She just needs to get a padded thong to protect herself.
I LOVE YOU CALL:
At 8:50 Deb calls a random business and tries to get the person answering the phone to say, “I love you.” Today she called The Psychic Shop and talked to Nancy. Deb wanted to know if they did palm readings or tarot card readings there? They do both. Can Nancy predict anything about Deb over the phone? Nancy doesn’t do that. She doesn’t give out I Love Yous either.
PET OF THE WEEK:
Every week we feature a lovely adoptable dog. This week we're looking for a home for Billie. She's a very sweet puppy whose jaw and pelvis were broken. She’s having surgery on her pelvis and has already had surgery on her jaw, which will be wired shut for 6 weeks while it heals. If you’re interested in adopting Billie, email firstname.lastname@example.org for more information. While you’re at it go to Love-A-Bull and take a look, so we can give some other pups great new homes too.
DOES DEB KNOW STUFF:
Every day we “trivialize” Deb by asking her quiz questions, then laughing when she doesn’t know the answers. Today she had Classic Children’s Book Trivia. What children series features the teacher, Ms. Frizzle, who took her students to magical locations? Deb used context clues and guessed The Magic School Bus – which was correct. Which kids book has food that falls from the sky? Deb knew it was Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. What book teaches kids about potty training? Deb knew it was Everyone Poops because it’s in Jason’s bathroom.
Barack Obama officially stated his support for same-sex marriage yesterday. Joe Biden, the Vice-President, had given his support earlier this weekend. Obama said today that they were planning on making their position clear before the election, but not yet. Biden sort of jumped the gun on that one.
The Miami Heat beat the New York Nicks 106-94 last night, eliminating the Nicks from the play-offs. Amare Stoudemire, who recently suffered a hand injury, was “extinguished” from the game for fouling out. Get it?