Don't Worry, I'm Safe
5/9/2012 9:47:00 AM
THE MOTHER LOVER GAME:
In honor of Mother’s Day, we’re exploiting Mama Dick and Deb’s Mum by seeing if they can answer questions the same way as their children. Jason and his mom are fresh off the win from yesterday so they got to go first. Jason knew that his parents met while they were in college and that his mom was born in Hazard, Kentucky. He said that the lamest gift Mama Dick had given him was a polo shirt with his name embroidered on it, giving the Dicks a 3-3 lead. Deb said that her parents met in high school, but according to Maggie they really met at the pool. However, she did know that her mom was born in London and that the lamest gift Maggie gave Deb was a map of London poster. The Dicks win again. Here's a video that has nothing to do with the game, but is hilarious. The language is NSFW so use headphones.
Wednesdays we shine a light on That Guy, that guy — or girl — that does something douchey and either doesn’t realize it or doesn’t apologize for it. Today Jason called out Forgets His Stuff Everywhere Guy. Jason realized his friend that he took to Vegas is That Guy. First, he forgot his phone when they left for the airport. Then, after they boarded their flight, he realized he forgot his hat in the car. When they went to the pool in Vegas he forgot his sunglasses in the hotel room. Finally, they were boarding the flight back to Austin and he forgot his boarding pass and ID. It turns out it was in his bag the whole time. They should just sew everything he forgets into his clothes, but that’s a lot of stuff.
PRISONER PEN PAL:
We're big in prison, which means that we've had some long-standing relationship with prison pen pals. Today we got a letter from Chopper, who is in the Bastrop Federal Correctional Institute. He’s currently locked in the hole. He shares a cell 23 hours a day with another inmate. An inmate took that time to make a torpedo. He knotted a sheet multiple times and flushed it down the toilet, flooding the cells. They thought it was funny, but the warden didn’t. As he was writing us a security guard told him he’s tired of hearing about it. So he gave her a shout on air – she knows who she is.
THE DREAM OF THE 90’S:
Jason went on a date last night. It was an improvement from the time before because she didn’t give her number out to a different guy. The only problem is she’s a ginger. Jason has always had a no-ginger-on-ginger rule. Or as she puts it: Two Reds Don’t Make A Right. Deb thinks the main problem is how young she is. For a while now, Jason has said that he wants to get with a girl born in the 90’s and it just so happens that she was. That’s not why Jason likes her; it’s just an added bonus. Deb’s worried that, because she’s so young, Jason might break her heart – or other parts of her. That’s gross.
I LOVE YOU CALL:
At 8:50 Deb calls a random business and tries to get the person answering the phone to say, “I love you.” Today she talked to Scotty at Hazard Food City. Deb’s fake family is on a road trip and she was wondering if they could stop in for some lunch. He had to put her on hold to check, but it turns out they do have lunch items. Too bad he didn’t give her any love.
PET OF THE WEEK:
Every week we feature a lovely adoptable dog. This week we're looking for a home for Billie. She's a very sweet puppy whose jaw and pelvis were broken. She’s having surgery on her pelvis and has already had surgery on her jaw, which will be wired shut for 6 weeks while it heals. If you’re interested in adopting Billie, email email@example.com for more information. While you’re at it go to Love-A-Bull and take a look, so we can give some other pups great new homes too.
DOES DEB KNOW STUFF:
Every day we “trivialize” Deb by asking her questions about random topics, then making fun of her when she doesn’t know the answers. Today she had 80’s Board Game Trivia. Deb prefaced the game by telling us that they had different board games in England, so she may not do that well. What is the two-player game where players alternate turns dropping colored discs into a grid. Deb said Connect Four; which was correct. What is the board game where players ask yes or no questions in order to guess which cartoon image their opponent has. Deb knew it was Guess Who. It looks like the board games aren’t that different in England.
Tom Gable, the lead singer of Against Me, has come out as a transgender. He will undergo electrolysis and hormone therapy to make the transition from male to female and will go by Laura Jane Grace.
Josh Hamilton, an outfielder for the Rangers, is really good at baseball. He scored 4 homeruns in a Rangers 10-3 victory over Baltimore last night.