Big, Dumb Animals
5/8/2012 10:45:00 AM
THE MOTHER LOVER GAME:
In honor of Mother’s Day, we’re exploiting Mama Dick and Deb’s Mum by seeing if they can answer questions the same way as their children. We called Deb’s Mum first, and she guessed wrong that Deb was married for about a year and that it’s been around 12 years since Deb ate some meat intentionally (it’s actually closer to 17). Maggie guessed that the most embarrassing thing she does is say some un-PC things sometimes, but Deb guessed that it’s singing in public. That’s 0 for 3. When Mama Dick was asked the same questions, she guessed correctly that Jason was married for 2 years, 1 month, but she guessed that Jason had meat in the last 8 hours, which would have made it a midnight snack. She also worried that she embarrassed him while talking on the radio, but it was actually yelling out, “Way to go, Big Toe!” when he played little league. With a commanding lead of 1 point, Team Dick won.
Tuesdays we take a peek into Deb’s Diary to see what it’s like to be a hot, British chick living in Austin. The foster dog Deb’s been taking care of for a while, Princess Piglet, had to go out to the farm. No, not like that. Piggie went to a training facility in Hutto so she’ll be ready for a real adoptive family. Deb was able to teach her a lot of stuff, but she can’t make her calm down on the leash. Deb feels good about helping out animals, since she hates people.
I NEED A FAVOR:
Nick’s been having some roommate issues, and now he’s having to move out of his rental house. Can he just temporarily move back into the Dick House? That’s the horrifying rental property that Jason owns, out of which Nick moved. Nothing official; just give Nick a 30-day visiting pass. Jason says the doors are always open to him, but that’s the problem: Nick is just going to end up the battered woman, coming back every time, even though it hurts.
LET’S TALK TALKIES:
In this game Jason and Deb try to guess who an actor is based on what he/she is Known For, according to IMDb. Jason was trying to tie up the all-time standings today, but Deb got off to an early lead by knowing that Helen Mirren was in The Queen, but Jason got a point for knowing The Godfather 1 & 2 had to be Al Pacino. Parks and Rec led to Aziz Ansari, which Jason guessed, but Deb caught back up by saying that Fast Five and Scorpion King is Dwayne Johnson, The Rock. In the end, Jason buzzed in on GoodFellas, saying Ray Liotta, but it was actually Joe Pesci. He lost a point. Deb won. He did not tie.
PET OF THE WEEK:
Every week we feature a lovely adoptable dog. This week we're looking for a home for Billie. She's a very sweet puppy whose jaw and pelvis were broken. She’s having surgery on her pelvis and has already had surgery on her jaw, which will be wired shut for 6 weeks while it heals. If you’re interested in adopting Billie, email email@example.com for more information. While you’re at it go to Love-A-Bull and take a look, so we can give some other pups great new homes too.
I LOVE YOU CALL:
At 8:50 Deb calls a random business and tries to get the person answering the phone to say, “I love you.” Today she called the Learning Center for Young People in Maryland, where no one picked up the phone. We tried calling another child care place in the same city, but no one answered there, either. Aw, that’s a butt-slam, isn’t it?
DOES DEB KNOW STUFF:
Every day we “trivialize” Deb by asking her quiz questions, then laughing when she doesn’t know the answers. Today she had to identify if someone is an Avenger, a real-life superhero, or a corporate mascot. Phoenix Jones she thought wasn’t a real person, but he is. What about Shadow Hare, whose trademark saying is: “The shadows have shadows?” He’s a real-life superhero, too. Well, who would guess that those even exist?
The Octomom has shot her first porn scene, officially. She’s kept with her “standards,” not letting anyone else touch her. You know what that means – she was getting all up in her own kool-aid.
The Spurs beat the Jazz last night, moving on from the first round of the playoffs, which is good news if you’re a fan and bad news if you have bet against them. Both of those people are Jason.