You Guys Need To Go To Counseling
5/1/2012 10:01:00 AM
Today Ralphie May called in to talk to us about his new DVD, “Too Big to Ignore.” It’s a Comedy Central special, which makes Ralphie the first comedian to have 4 one-hour stand-up specials with Comedy Central. Ralphie asked Deb (since she’s British) how Adele can sing like an American when she doesn’t talk like one? Deb has no idea, especially because Adele’s British accent is really hard to understand. Not that it matters - Ralphie likes her, a lot. Too bad he can’t date her because once they broke up she would write songs about him. Jason thinks that would be awesome. Of course he would. Take a look at his new special (you can preview it too) here on iTunes.
LET’S TALK TALKIES:
In this game Jason and Deb guess who an actor is based on what he/she is Known For, according to IMDb. Jason knew that Uma Thurman was known for “Kill Bill” and “Pulp Fiction.” Deb guessed Chris Hemsworth was known for “Thor,” “Star Trek,” and “Cabin in the Woods.” She also knew that Leslie Nielsen was known for “The Naked Gun” movies. Jason won it by getting Val Kilmer for “Batman Forever,” and “Top Gun.” This used to be Deb’s game, what happened? If Jason doesn’t lose soon, she’s going to quit.
DUMB QUESTION AMNESTY:
In this segment, you can ask any question you want the answer to, and no one’s allowed to laugh at you. Alex wanted to know: “There’s no Olympic baseball, is there?” Jason said they actually just got rid of baseball and softball in the Olympics, probably because professional baseball is in season during the Olympics. Nick asked why everyone laughs at him when he says the word “ruin.” Jason, Deb, and Alex all took turns saying “ruin” the right way. It turns out Nick says it like “rune.” You’ll have to listen to the podcast to understand, but you’ll probably laugh at him too.
Tuesdays we take a peek into Deb’s Diary to find out what it’s like to be a hot, British chick living in Austin. Yesterday the alarm went off at Deb’s house; she couldn’t get to it in time so Point Security called her. They asked her for her security password; which she gave them. She went upstairs to give her foster dog, Piggy, a bath and when she came downstairs she found a surprise - there were police in her house with guns drawn. Apparently she gave Point Security the wrong password so they sent the cops. It all turned out alright, but the cops were pretty mad at her.
GRANDMAS WATCHING PORN:
Old people generally don’t get freaky, but there’s a video online of 3 grandma’s watching Kim Kardashian’s sex tape. Jason thinks maybe some elderly people watch the Kardashians reality TV shows. It’s probably because Kris Jenner wet her pants that one time so they gained an older audience that could relate. Regardless, check out the video below, it’s pretty hilarious.
Saturday, May 12th: mark this day in infamy, as it's the first-ever Jason Dick-athalon, brought to you by Pluckers. It's a series of Jason Dick-esque events going on at the Pluckers on S. Lamar starting at 1 PM, including a tricycle race and some tasks that we have to keep secret for now. Winner will get tickets to the 101X shows at Whitewater Rocks - Girl Talk, Ghostland Observatory, and Skrillex. $2 pints of Bud Light even if you don't want to ride a tricycle.
PET OF THE WEEK:
Every week we feature a lovely adoptable dog. This week we're looking for a home for Billie. She's a very sweet puppy whose jaw and pelvis were broken. She’s having surgery on her pelvis and has already had surgery on her jaw, which will be wired shut for 6 weeks while it heals. If you’re interested in adopting Billie, email email@example.com for more information. While you’re at it go to Love-A-Bull and take a look, so we can give some other pups great new homes too.
I LOVE YOU CALL:
At 8:50 Deb calls a random business and tries to get the person answering the phone to say, “I love you.” Today Deb talked to Kathy at Bradley Mechanical Company. Deb wanted to know if she could get the AC at her friend’s house fixed. Kathy said they would send someone over for a consultation, which is good because it’s starting to get smelly. Alex said it sounds like Deb’s friend may have died, but Kathy didn’t think so – she gave Deb an I Love You.
DOES DEB KNOW STUFF:
Every day we “trivialize” Deb by asking her questions about random topics, then making fun of her when she doesn’t know the answers. Today we had Ridiculous Sports Injury Trivia. In 2004, Sammy Sosa suffered back spasms due to what? Deb guessed it was because he took golf clubs out of his trunk, but it was really because he sneezed while bending over. Marty Cordoba burned his face how? Deb guessed he burned it on steam from some soup, but he actually fell asleep in a tanning bed. Don’t tanning beds automatically shut off? More importantly, what is Marty Cordoba doing tanning?
The Octomom, Nadya Suleman, filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy yesterday. When interviewed, she said she would consider doing porn because it would allow her to take care of her family.
Yesterday, Amare Stoudemire, a player for the New York Knicks, injured his hand. He was upset after his team’s loss to the Heat, so he punched the glass on the door of a fire extinguisher cabinet. His status for the rest of the season is in question due to the injury.