That's A Firm C
4/20/2012 10:22:00 AM
BAD JOHN PAUL:
We had photographer John Paul Wilson in studio this morning, whose first book Bad JohnPaul is out soon. To Jason’s relief, he’s not just a wang specialist — he shoots a lot of boobs, too. John Paul said he gets kicked off of Facebook at least twice a year because of his photos. Hey, something he has in common with Jason. Jason wanted to know if he gives the male models any direction, but he said the men are usually the ones who are quicker to get undressed. Deb wants him to shoot some sexy photos of her, but no vagina or nipple. She’s OK with underboob, though.
C OF THE WEEK:
Fridays, Deb calls the one person who’s wronged her the most that week the C Word – the worst word in the world, although she usually means it jovially. Is it a surprise to anybody that it’s Jason? Whatever sort of illness he brought into the studio last week has made its way around and infected everybody. Deb had the worst CrossFit workout of her life the other day. She was embarrassed because she could barely lift, and it’s all Jason’s fault. Hey, he hasn’t been able to lift weights either.
Deb hates it when guys perform a certain maneuver in bed. It’s something all guys try, and she’s tired of it. When a guy is trying to initiate some south of the border action and puts his hand on her head and pushes it down — just stop. She’ll get there on her own, don’t worry about that. Deb said this is something all girls hate, but Jason doesn’t get it; he used to perform that maneuver when he was trying to be suggestive, and if he doesn’t do it, it’s not gonna happen. Caller Elsie said she agrees with Deb and it turns her off completely and ruins a guy’s chances. Take note, guys.
COPS ARE COMING:
Why, FedEx man, do you have to knock on the door with such fury? Jason was taking a nap yesterday and heard an extreme rapping noise on the front door. When it wouldn’t stop, Jason checked the front door and saw it’s just a package. If you’re just gonna leave it there anyway, don’t freak him out and make him think it’s the cops! He was halfway out the back door, headed for Biloxi, Mississippi. Unless they're cops like Channing Tatum...
BLUFF JASON DICK:
Jason is a renowned poker expert, or is just a degenerate gambler, whichever way you choose to look at it. Either way, he says he is unbluffable, and he is putting it to the test by having listeners try to bluff him in order to win one of four trips to Vegas for Cinco de Mayo, thanks to Bud Light Lime-a-Rita. So far he’s “owned 14 souls” and allowed only 4 people through to the finals. First he talked to Conly, who said Montel Williams once yelled at her and that she was in the same sorority as Brooke Shields’ little sister. Jason knew that the former is true. Listener Angela told him that she has either DD breasts or 4 year-old daughter. Jason was so distracted that he got it wrong – she is, in fact, well-endowed. That just screwed him up, because he missed that Ruben met Dr. Drew, not Psycho Mike, and that Nathan has a mom who fronts a rock band, not a model ex-girlfriend. That makes 3 who slipped through his fingers today. If you want to participate, e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org.
DENNIS DE LA PENA:
Fridays we talk to a real sports expert, Dennis De La Pena from Fox 7 Sports. The Texas Rangers, what’s not to like? Dennis thinks they could go all the way for a third year. Yeah, Deb said, and they have CJ Wilson. No, not quite, Deb. Red Sox play the Yankees in a series this weekend and you can watch it on Fox 7.
I LOVE YOU CALL:
At 8:50 Deb calls a random business and tries to get the person answering the phone to say, "I love you." Today she called Knox Pest Control in Clanton, Alabama. The receptionist who answered told Deb she could expect a bug problem because of the mild winter, which really freaked her out. She talked to Todd about what kinds of bugs she would get in her house and got a long list of pests and, after a lot of work, managed to get an I Love You out of him as well.
PET OF THE WEEK:
Every week we feature a lovely adoptable dog. This week we're looking for a home for Billie. She's a very sweet puppy whose jaw and pelvis were broken. She’s having surgery on her pelvis and has already had surgery on her jaw, which will be wired shut for 6 weeks while it heals. If you’re interested in adopting Billie, email email@example.com for more information. While you’re at it go to Love-A-Bull and take a look, so we can give some other pups great new homes too.
DOES DEB KNOW STUFF:
Every day we “trivialize” Deb by asking her quiz questions, then laughing when she doesn’t know the answers. In honor of 4/20, Deb had fast food menu trivia. Which fast food restaurant is known for their square burger patties? This is unfair trivia, Deb says, but she correctly guessed Wendy’s. She also knew Jack in the Box is the only fast food restaurant to serve breakfast all day.