DEB’S DIARY:

Every Tuesday we shine the spotlight on Deb O’Keefe. Deb is a hot British chick living in Austin, Texas. We don’t know what its like but we want to know. Deb doesn’t want to sound ungrateful because her boyfriend is home right now, but there is just something she can’t get over. Last night she realized that her beautiful man does something that she really, really, really hates. She can’t stand this one thing because it’s disgusting. As they were getting ready for bed, she was clean and just put a nice fragrant lotion all over her body. She couldn’t wait for him to get in bed as she watched him dry his hard body. She was licking her lips as his towel dropped by the sink as he began to brush his teeth. As he was almost done, he shoved his toothbrush so far down his throat that he gagged. His dad was a dentist, so this might be where this freakish cleanliness comes from, but at the end of every tooth brushing session comes, his body contorts and he completely disgusts Deb. She can hear him gag himself in the guest bathroom, and something about it drives her crazy! She loves him because he is the sexiest man she’s ever undressed with her eyes and paws, but this toothbrush thing has to go. Jason reminds her that at least this is his “one thing” and how she’s lucky he doesn’t have hundreds of problems, like himself.

WHO IS MORE IRISH?:

What are you doing on St. Patrick’s Day? We’re gonna be at Fado Irish Pub, and you should be, too. And while you’re there, maybe we can solve a little dispute that’s been going on behind-the-scenes for a while here. When Jason and Deb were hanging out with the proprietors of Fado a few weeks ago, Jason noted what he thought was a phony connection between Deb and the owners because they’re all not from the U.S. But Jason claims he’s more Irish than Deb is. They’ve been fighting about it ever since. Each day the two of them are going to put forth a reason why he or she is more Irish. Today Jason’s Irish trait is that he loves green trousers, and he’s been wearing them for years since the 6^th grade. He claims it was his Irish instinct to wear them at such an early age. Deb’s trait is that she used to work at Fado Irish Pub. She learned how to pour Guinness, but Jason reminds her she speaks in the enemy language of the Irish. As of today, Jason O’Dick leads, but Deb reminds listeners she can’t wear the leprechaun costume because she’s got something extra special for St. Patty’s Day! Vote at the poll just over to the right here to determine who’s the real Irishman – Jason O’Dick or Deb. (Even if you think it’s Jason, vote for Deb so that you can see Jason dressed like a leprechaun on St. Patrick’s Day at Fado.)

ART ACEVEDO :

Austin Police Chief Art Acevedo joined us on the phone today, and as you know Deb and Jason adore him. Within hours of applying for the job, Art was named one of six finalists Monday to become the next leader of the Dallas police force. He said he applied and was aggressively recruited. Deb and Jason are super sad, not only because Dallas sucks but because they’ll miss Art and never feel as safe when he’s gone. Jason is happy that he’ll get more money, but we all learned that being a police chief isn’t like being a president or anything. In his statement, Acevedo mentioned that the average tenure of a major city chief is three to five years and that he has no contract with the City of Austin. We will all be sad if he leaves, but Art is a true believer in fate, and knows if its meant to happen it will. Deb reminds Art that his life might get more exciting by chasing hookers down the famous Harry Hines Boulevard because in Austin we don’t have any of that. On that note, Deb has a dream of becoming a cop for people, or animals. Watch out Austin because she’s pretty serious, and would look pretty hot in aviators and a uniform.

 I’M THE CREEPY OLD DUDE :

The other day we received an awesome email. The subject line of this e-mail was from a guy named Ed Sullivan. If you remember, he batted his eyelashes at Deb during the Valentine’s beer pong event at Pluckers. During the event he called Deb over to slip her his peculiar business card reading: Ed Sullivan’s Saturday Night Dinner List.

The card says:

(FRONT)

I plan on having Saturday night dinner with a different beautiful woman each week for the rest of my life.

I pay; you pick the restaurant.

(BACK)

Three non-negotiable conditions:

1. You must be genuine and fun.

2. (Husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, dog, or whatever),

If you have any type of significant other

They must be totally on board with this. I don’t do drama.

3. There must be at least a 5% chance you will have sex with me. I am totally fine if you don’t; this is just to add a bit of excitement to my old brain. I have never forced this Issue on a woman in my life. If this is a deal breaker, you need to at least lie convincingly about this.

Don’t knock geriatric sex until you try it, he wrote. He made it known that dinner with Jason would be cool, but he definitely doesn’t want #3 from him. After Ed heard about the Ragin’ Cajun on the show (remember the guy that grabbed Deb’s arm at Pluckers), there is no way in hell he wants to go to dinner with Deb. Why?

Because he values his life.

JASON’S GAY THEORY:

After a conversation of a new gay addition to Jason’s family, a heated debate occurred in the studio. Jason’s cousin is bisexual and he therefore formed a theory. Jason believes that gay guys are also bisexual and would have sex with women. He understands the programming of a penis and its impossible to be 100% anti-vagina. Deb calls Jason an ignoramus and knows he will get called out by listeners, which he did! Caller Austin agreed with Deb that the glory of the penis ruled their life. Austin admitted to grabbing boobies for giggles, but reminded Jason that vaginas are yucky even though there are many men who love them. Deb said that Jason couldn’t disagree with facts, and he needed to get over it because he’s not even gay. Listener Stella said she understood where Jason was coming from but the topic veered and Jason kept freaking out. Deb is just jealous because she doesn’t have a gay in the family, let alone a bisexual.

CASS’S CAPITAL CONTEST:

So, to prove that Sorority Intern is a smart cookie she is challenged to a state capitals contest. If she wins she’ll earn 100 bucks that she desperately needs. If she loses she’ll have to clean a part of the Dick mansion. Even though she thinks Albuquerque is the capital of New Mexico, the contest will take place at the 101X live broadcast at Fado in front of our live audience. Cassandra has until 9am to prove her smarts, or she’ll be made fun of… forever.

I LOVE YOU CALL:

Everyday we call a random business to try and get the person who answers to say “I Love You”. Today we called Tony from Little Drug Co. Deb asked her if she had any herbal remedies for sinus infections, but the lady had no idea. She had to look things up and wasn’t very helpful. She couldn’t be bothered to answer any questions this morning so we had a bad feeling from the beginning of the phone call. We were right and didn’t receive any love again today. With seven butt slams in a row, Deb has nominated herself as the lowest common denominator for suckage with these calls.

THE QUIZ:

Everyday we quiz Deb on random trivia for tickets. Today’s trivia is about Bill and Ted. Our caller, Eliza was up for the test. On the first question Deb thinks the name of Bill and Ted’s time machine is Aristotle that is actually Rufus. Eliza gets a point. When the guys have to fix the time machine because the antenna breaks they use chewing gum, not a coat hanger that Deb guessed. Therefore, Eliza wins Phoenix tickets! Deb tells Jason to throw more questions at her so she can at least get one right, but it didn’t happen.

REWIND:

Yesterday we welcomed Noel Biderman, the owner of AshleyMadison.com which is a website service for anyone who is looking for love and already married, also known as cheating. Deb is famously not a fan of his website. Noel is trying to get his website out there through advertising on TV and not just radio. He created a commercial hoping to get it on ABC network during infidelity shows like Desperate Housewives, but the network did not allow it. Noel pointed out that it is ok to have shows depicting infidelity that are fiction, but when it comes to reality, no one wants to see it. Jason took issue with Noel’s ads on “special videos” Jason likes to look up on the Internet. The other day Jason was surfing the web for some porn and before he could watch it he had to sit through an Ashley Madison ad! If you want to cheat, check out the website here!

NEWS:

OSCAR FAIL:

Ryan O’Neil was super pissed that Farrah Faucet was left off the Oscars montage to deceased celebrities. Ed McMann and Arthur were left off the memoir, and several celebrities were upset because Farrah was a member of the Academy for over forty years. Some say she wasn’t featured because she was a TV actress, yet Michael Jackson was in the montage. Apparently Farrah just didn’t make the cut.

HURT LOCKER FEELS GOOD:

The Hurt Locker is the lowest grossing “Film of the Year” ever while the Oscars generated more viewers than ever this year.

IPHONE RELATIONSHIPS:

Iphones are addicting. From researchers in Stanford, they found that 3 out of 4 users say they take their Iphone to bed with them, and they are more likely to forget their wallet than their phone. 3% of people said that they wont let anyone touch their Iphone. Cassandra says her droid phone is better and faster than Nick’s, but Nick said she couldn’t even work over half her applications!

MONOPOLY ISN’T FOR DEALERS:

A man in Wichita, Kansas was beaten with a handgun after he tried to pay for his crack debt with monopoly money. Police found out after they pulled the man over for a routine traffic stop.

SPORTS:

Alan Iverson, basketball superstar for the 76ers, has been diagnosed with alcohol and gambling addictions. He has been banned from several casinos most likely for his alcohol dependence.

Jason is upset that women’s basketball is headlining sports center.

Texas football practice is open today at 3:30 at DKR.

Ben Roethlisberger sexual assault accuser is a 20-year-old college student who claims that the NFL star assaulted her in a bathroom of a Georgia nightclub. Police are withholding her identity, as is customary with sexually based offenses. Officials have interviewed both the Ben Roethlisberger accuser and the Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback since that night but no charges have been filed ... yet.