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A Terminal Diagnosis

Posted 4/22/2014 6:32:00 AM

Deary Diary

Last week I mentioned to you that I thought I might be having, how can I say this delicately... having some serious issues. I had seen the symptoms but wasn't sure of the actual diagnosis. So I called an expert, had the problem looked at, and it's official. I can't believe this happened to me as I've always been so careful, taking precautions and having professional care, but guys, I have....termites. Why!? Why me? I'm a good person! I'm kind to animals! I pay my taxes! I've always felt like this diagnosis is a life sentence. I was really freaked out when the ABC guy told me it was true. Who would love me now? Nobody wants to be with someone with termites right? Well Eric, my kind pest guy told me that no longer was it a big deal. No longer was there such a stigma ...

Ouch! My Lip!

Posted 4/15/2014 8:10:00 AM

Dear Diary

Last weekend Jason's roommate and my friend Jeff were hanging out doing our usual stuff - watching Orange Is The New Black, drinking Topo Chico, tucking into some delicious East Side Pies pizza pie, when tragedy struck. I was starting my second piece of veggie pie when OMFG i bit my lip. I don't mean the outside of my lip in a sexy, come-hither look, but the inside of my bottom lip, kind of right where my teeth meet. My friend and Jason's roommate just laughed at my pain until I showed him the grotesque chunk of flesh I'd taken out of my lip. It was too painful for words. And I kid you not, as hard as I tried over the next ten days, I re bit my lip in exactly the same place every single time I ate something. At one point, I was eating ...

Where's My Soap?!

Posted 4/8/2014 7:30:00 AM

Dear Diary

In life, change happens. Change is inevitable. I actually embrace change as a way to mix up the monotony of life. And I like to think that I'm easily accepting of change. Around here at least, I feel like I'm the one who excepts changes in our radio systems and such a little better than others. Anyway, work aside, I also feel like I'm able to adapt if change is pushed upon me. Like when they changed up the class schedule at Pure Austin. I just went to a different class! It's that simple. But, and I hate to even admit this, they're changing the layout of my local supermarket and it's driving me crazy! When I saw a few weeks ago that there was some construction going on and a lot of the items were being moved, my first reaction was sympathy for the store workers ...

Go Away, Cough!

Posted 4/1/2014 7:29:00 AM

Dear Diary

It's a new week and I'm alive. Despite my lungs trying to murder me the last two weeks with a terrible case of bronchitis, I made it. However, this damn cough isn't going anywhere. It's the worst sounding, most hacking, thick with phlegm gross disgusting cough I've ever had. You know that cough that you can almost see it's so viscous? You know like when you're on a bus or plane with someone who's coughing like that you immediately feel like you've caught whatever gross disease it is that they've got? You know, the type of cough only someone who's been a smoker for 20 years should have? Yep. I've got that cough and it's awful. Even worse than how gross it sounds is how terrible it feels. I tried playing with my dog for a few minutes yesterday as he's SO bored with me being ill, ...

TV Is Awful

Posted 3/25/2014 8:36:00 AM

Dear Diary

As you can tell by the sound of my gross voice, I am ill. And when I say ill, I mean it. This isn't your average little cold or cough or feeling weird, no, this is full blown grossness. It started at the end of sxsw and refuses to leave. I ttok the z-pack that my doctor gave me, have been drinking plenty of water, been getting lots of sleep and I've been doing ALL the things you're supposed to do when you're ill. And I still feel terrible. I don't want to curse it, but I think I feel a little bit better today. And thank God. Not only am I sick and tired of coughing, literally, I am sore from coughing so much, but I've got nothing left to watch on TV. I feel like I've watched everything on my DVR at least once. As ...


Do you eat pie?

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