WHAT? YOU’RE STILL IN BED? WTF INTERN???
OK, so Jason and Deb pulled some serious strings to get their beloved Sorority Intern a real paying position at the station as she’s growing up now and needs health insurance. However, this being her first week, I guess she decided that she could sleep in until 6:25am today. If you’re in bed with SI, could you roll over and wake her up please? Jason needs to show her some penises.
(When she finally arrived she realized her computer was broken, messed up Deb's mouse pad on her notebook and almost destroyed Deb's phone) It's just one of those days when everything that could possibly go wrong did go wrong for S.I. She made "Hazard" and "Stay 10 feet Away" signs all morning.
Today the musical expert from Austin, Texas
, Andy Langer, came into talk about all things music and festivals. He brought us the mashup song that features 30 or so bands that’ll be at ACL. 27 of the 30 bands have been figured out so far. Some include: Man Man, OkkervilRiver
, Sivlersun pickups, NERD, CSS, The Raconteurs, MGMT, Kate Nash, Duffy and Tegan and Sara to name a few. We tried to get the other 100 bands including the headliners out of Andy today, but he said he knows less this year than he ever has before. He did say that Radiohead playing at Lallapalooza makes the chances of them coming here less likely since it’s for the same promoters. Jack Johnson, however, is the king of the festivals this year according to Andy. He is scheduled to appear at every one so far. Cochella added Prince to their lineup 2 weeks before the festival which pissed Jason off. When the White Stripes cancelled last year, they weren’t replaced with another big name. Andy says this is because Cochella needs the money and forked out $4 million for Prince. ACL doesn’t need any money, they sell tickets regardless. Andy also chatted up the upcoming shows including Mars Volta tonight, Ministry on Tuesday the 15th and Panic at the Disco on the 19th.
Father dawn came in today from the Church of Latter Day Religious People to bless the MorningX. He prayed for his accountant who is preparing his tax return since the father wrote off $42,000 for ‘spiritual medication’ (known on the streets as the cocaine). By the time Sunday rolls around after the long drunken weekend he needs a boost to stay awake for Church. He asked Jesus to put in a good word for him at the IRS. He then questioned S.I. on her skills on being able to size up a man’s “under-region”. He begrudgingly asked her to size him up. After some hesitations she called him out for being a possible “OUCH” because he is blessed by Jesus. When he left, she confessed to lying to the father because she really thinks he is a 3 or “Average”. SINNER!!!
OUR MAYOR :
We welcomed the Mayor on the show today as we do every Thursday to chat about Austin. We opened the paper this morning and to our surprise there was a headline that read “Mayor is accused of Bullying”. Luckily it wasn’t our beloved Mayor this time. It was the mayor of CedarPark. He said he’s raising the bar for all mayors ever since his “assault” accusation. Mr. Wynn knows the ACL lineup in its totality, headliners and all, but told us he’ll have to kill us if he told us. What sucks is every year during ACL the mayor must attend an annual conference so he misses all the bands. We also invited the Mayor to Taverna on Sunday for $5 bottomless mimosas and brunch. Jason said it is real fancy so it’s probably right up the Mayor’s alley. Will said you can always tell a place is fancy if most the men are wearing socks. Thanks Your Honor! We’ll see you at Taverna this Sunday!
SHOT IN THE BUTT .COM IS CLOSING IT’S DOORS:
Remember back a few months when Deb got rabies? Well, when she got the rabies shots in the butt after being bitten by a dog? Her dumb insurance company decided that it was a pre existing condition and Deb was stuck with a huge bill. Thanks to the kindness of one of our lovely listeners, Charles, a web site was set up so you could donate to the cause. Now though, Deb has decided to give all the money donated back to the listeners. You see, she’s going to take on the man and fight the insurance company tooth and nail.
Every week Deb tests her manly skills by trying to carry out different man tasks. Jason loves to make up ridiculous tasks for her and this week is no different. She is going tonight to her normal Thursday hangout, Qua, and she is going to attempt to pick up a chick at the bar. Deb is really nervous because she doesn’t want to lead the girl on and have her committed then have to shoot her down. Jason says in order to pass Deb must bring back a phone number. We had tons of helpful advice from listeners on how to pick up a girl. Tune in tomorrow to see if Deb succeeded!
THE SORORITY INTERN SIZE ‘EM UP CONTEST:
Ever wanted to take our beloved SI out for a nice date? Been shot down a million times by her? Well worry no more! Just by coming up to the studio tomorrow morning and showing her your junk, you can be the lucky guy that gets to spend a ton of money on her, get your hopes up and then have them dashed as she leaves you, blue balled at the end of the night, without even a kiss goodnight. Oops, I meant to say, you can be the lucky guy who gets to have a lovely date with her. Just send us an email if you can come up to the studio Friday at 7am to show SI your junk! MorningX@krox.com
WHAT CAN’T JASON COMPLAIN ABOUT?
Jason is practically an expert at complaining and showed his skills today. Here’s what he amazed us with today… John-Michael called in to ask Jason to complain about ESPN since he is a huge sports fan. Jason not only conquered this feat, but also disparaged the poor man’s name saying no one should have 2 first names EVER. Jason said the fact that ESPN plays WNBA religiously is enough to piss him off. It’s the only sport where you can pick a random fan in the stand and they’re probably better than the players. He went a little further but started to sound like a woman hater. John called to ask Jason to complain about finding $20 in his winter coat pocket not knowing it was there. Jason said that that was $20 you lost! Who knows how much money you’ve lost that you have and will never find! He also praised the fact that John’s name isn’t followed by another first name like “Michael”. Email us your suggestions to stump Jason at email@example.com.
Today Deb’s friend Marissa sent in some trivia questions to try and stump Deb on Star Wars. They are both huge fans so Marissa is counting on Deb to get these questions right. Scott called in to play for Mars Volta tickets for tonight’s concert. Deb was 1 for 3 today. She didn’t even know the name of Luke’s home planet! Tune in everyday to play and win tickets.
Yesterday, we found out that Sorority Intern has special magic skills. Apparently, she can figure out how ‘endowed’ a man is by just looking at him!! Cool! There are a few rules she told us about – for example, a man who buys everyone’s drinks and talks too loud has a small one. OK then! Anyway, Jason decided to put this to the test and show SI pictures of men in clothes – then pictures of the men sans clothes… Her skills prevailed and she guessed the majority of them correctly. We decided that we needed to put her to the real test and get some real men in here. Tomorrow, you can hear how well she does…
American Airlines is canceling tons of flights again, so we recommend calling ahead to see if yours is grounded. Thousands were stranded across the country and here in Austin yesterday. Heath Ledger’s Pal Verne Troyer (Mini Me) had a tattoo put on him of a drawing Heath did before his death. To Deb’s pleasure, Prince has been added to the Coachella Music Fest, and Serge Tanjkian want to send a hologram of himself on tour to save the environment.
Jason recons that Tiger Woods has a great chance to win the Masters golf tournament that gets underway in Atlanta today. I think he said that a kid who used to play basketball for UT now plays on the worst team in the US and that’s sad. Then there was something about Albert Pulhols ruining the Astro’s chances of ever being good. Sorry, really find it hard to follow the sports… Oh and Jason basically hates all women’s sports…