Jason and Deb
More Fantasy, More Turtles
Despite everyone’s protests, we’re doing yet another season of Jason & Deb’s Fantasy Football League. It capped off a day full of three drafts for Jason. Nick enjoyed his earlier draft with Jason, because Jason’s friend Jake was there and everyone could focus on how terrible that guy was. Deb was distracting Jason’s roommate Jeff while he was yelling at the speakerphone for his own draft, and she was really worried that’s how ours was going to be. If you somehow want to see the results for yourself, follow along here.
QUIEN ES MAS MACHO:
Jason will tell you he’s a man’s man’s man, and we put that to the test by pitting his weekend against a listener’s to see whose was mas macho. Listener Jonathan had a 103 fever, but still partied with his friend in Waco, where they blew up a TV and deep freezers by loading it with explosives and shooting it. On his weekend, Jason didn’t like that Perla’s had both people and expensive food, nor did he like the new TMNT movie, but his barbecue was excellent. His effort, however, was not. Check out the videos of Jonathan blowing stuff up.
SICK, SICK, SICK:
Finally Deb went to the doctor, after describing for weeks her “traditional” symptoms, including her eyes getting tired. For years Deb thought she had beaten her gag reflex down, but she wasn’t ready for the Strep test, where they swab inside your throat. After almost throwing up on the doctor, her Strep test came back negative, but she still needed antibiotics, because her broken toe looks infected. Also, there’s still beach in her ear. She’ll probably die soon.
TRUTH OR PAIR:
You can ask Jason and Deb anything you want, and they can either tell you the Truth or give you a Pair of tickets to that thing you love. Jason was asked who hosts his “illegal gambling dens,” but they’re all listed as “Poker Mike” or “Poker Abe” in his phone. He doesn’t know. What about Deb, who said that she knows a quarterback in the biblical sense? We’ll tell you this: he plays for the Pairs. Wait - aw, man.
HELP THE DOGGIES:
I LOVE YOU CALL:
At 8:50 Deb calls a random business and tries to get the person answering the phone to say, “I love you.” Today she called Debbie at Harbor Point Nursing Home in Massachusetts. Deb tried to give them her “old, mean Irish lady” of a grandma, claiming she heard about the place from Jeff, who works with her at Starbucks. The story got really twisted, and she didn’t even get her I Love You.
DOES DEB KNOW STUFF:
Every day we “trivialize” Deb by asking her quiz questions, then laughing when she doesn’t know the answers. Today she had to answer questions about our own fantasy football league. Could she name two of her own players? She said Adrian Peterson and Michael Sam, but neither of those is right. She did remember, though, that Alex has all the Mannings.
Want to see a woman who’s 78 and referred to as “The Gangbang Queen?” Here’s a video that is not only Not Safe For Work, it’s Not Safe For Life.
Floyd Mayweather, who has been shamed by 50 Cent for his lack of reading abilities, posted this photo in response:
Read this $72,276,000.00. God bless. pic.twitter.com/dpwE3X7eLR— Floyd Mayweather (@FloydMayweather) August 23, 2014