Jason and Deb
I’m Looking For White Spots
Both Nick and Jason went to see the new Ninja Turtles movie last night, but Nick was the only one who saw it (believe it or not, he loved it). In attempting a White Trash Double-Feature – where you buy a ticket to one movie, and once it’s over, you just walk into another theater – Jason saw Guardians of the Galaxy first, but in the concessions line afterward, he could feel the manager’s eyes on him, and he bailed.
DEB’S FIRST TIME:
No, it wasn’t scissoring. Deb needed a few things from the grocery store, but it wasn’t enough to warrant a trip to HEB. Her friend suggested she go into Dollar General. After resisting, she actually went in and found it quite confusing, because it wasn’t all $1. She went with pasta to serve as “comfort food,” despite the fact that it upsets her stomach, and she thought we’d be really proud of her “peasant food.” Deb, when you add balsamic dressing to a dish, it’s not peasant-y.
DRAWING OUT OF A STINKY HAT:
We did our absolutely thrilling draft order picks on the show today, which meant Deb had to hold Jason’s hat. Good luck to anyone who tries to do that and not gag from the smell of his head juices.
WHERE’S MY FLYING CAR:
In this segment, we highlight something that should be a thing but isn’t yet, like the Flying Car. Today it’s 3D. (Specifically in movies – he’s not upset because life isn’t two-dimensional.) What has it really improved? And we certainly haven’t made the process easier for viewers. It’s the glasses that really bother him. Make it so he can see in 3D just with your own eyeballs!
You probably noticed that Deb hasn’t quite been right for a while. Her head’s been achy and her brain isn’t working right since she got back from Nicaragua. Another girl in the building had strep recently – could she have caught that? Deb thought Americans had made it up when she first came here, but now it might be the cause of all her fatigue. Or maybe it’s a parasite that will murder her from the inside.
HELP THE DOGGIES:
We love animals, and the latest way that we're showing it is supporting our friends at the Rowing Dock, who need to raise money for their beloved mascot, Ria. You can see Ria bringing Deb some happiness right here, and if you can help her keep that going by participating in their event or donating, you'll be a slightly better person because of it.
I LOVE YOU CALL:
At 8:50 Deb calls a random business and tries to get the person answering the phone to say, “I love you.” Today she called Shack ‘N Cheese in New Hampshire. Their mac ‘n cheese is popular with the kids, because you have a whole wall of things you can top your pasta with, from Doritos to – wait, Doritos? It seemed like there was a rush on the cheese, because Deb got a quick goodbye and no love today.
DOES DEB KNOW STUFF:
Every day we “trivialize” Deb by asking her quiz questions, then laughing when she doesn’t know the answers. Today she had trivia on Michael Bay movies. In what movie are blue collar nobodies able to save the Earth from total destruction? That’s Armageddon, but she went with Transformers. In which one do two cops who don’t play by the rules take down a Cuban drug ring? She went with Bad Boys, but it’s obviously Bad Boys 2.
A Florida man was confronted by police for peeping into people’s windows. He first explained he was just “looking for Tony,” then asked if he could come back in 20 minutes after a smoke break. They explained he couldn’t, at which point he started fighting a fire hydrant.
Vince Young was discussing his new UT position, where he said he would have returned for a senior year at UT if he had known the Texans weren’t going to draft him.