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Jason and Deb

Blog > Jason and Deb > Give My Earlobe A Footjob

Give My Earlobe A Footjob

DEB’S “CONDITION:”

 

”description”Deb has a very serious medical issue!  She has an itchy foot.  It itches every day right in the middle of her foot.  In fact, she scratches often it raw.  She spoke to a dermatologist about it, and they have not been able to find out what her problem is.  Because they say there is no problem.  Jason and Alex agree that is her “stupid girl brains.”  Listeners tried to help Deb saying that she may have a tickled nerve or a lack of blood flow to her foot.  Only time will tell.  If she’s scratched her whole foot off by tomorrow, at least we’ll know why.

 

WHOSE TWEET IS IT ANYWAY:

 

Twitter is hot with the kids today, so if you're not following @DebOKeefe, @jasondick101x, and @ThatAlexD, then what the hell is wrong with you?  Jason, Deb, and a listener guess who tweeted what for Twitter superiority.  Today’s tweets were from everyone’s favorite female porn stars: Bree Olson, Sasha Grey, and Kristina Rose.  Listener Sam struck first blood knowing that Sasha Grey had a painful ... something that made her feel so good.  Next, Kristina Rose tweeted that she’d make a certain face when a certain act was being performed on her, and Deb and Sam both knew it.  No one got that Kristina Rose thinks whores should be called “sexual athletes.”  However, everyone got that Bree Olson wants someone to put a paper bag over her head and do it with her, pretending she’s someone else.  Only Jason guessed that Bree is all about The Giving Tree – yes, the book.  Not anything else you could come up with.  Sicko.

 

THAT’S RACIALIST:

 

  Chelsea Handler was on Conan last night, and she had some very hateful things to say about Gingers.  Straight to Conan’s face, too!  How is this acceptable?&nbsp

 

STUPID DICK BRAIN:

 

Jason is in love.  Or at least the Jason Dick version.  He’s been seeing a new girl for a few days now, and he thinks she’s something pretty special.  What’s impressive is that he’s been making progress in self-examining, so he’s noticed a pattern:  he falls for girls really quickly.  But not just any girls.  The ones who are really good at sex.  Really?  Really?  Apparently he also has to have sex with them really quickly because that’s how he’s going to rope them in (metaphorically, of course).  In any budding relationship, you need to show off your good traits up front to prove you’re worth that person’s time.  And one of his best traits is his skill in the bedroom.  Allegedly.  Deb tried to tell him how that’s not enough to base a relationship on, but he just can’t help it.  It’s his stupid Dick brain. 

 

THE RED SHIRT THEORY:

 

”description”DJ Other Penis Inside Joke Guy Nick has been explaining to us all week about his new scientific way to make girls like him:  wear red and speak to them on their right sides.  And it’s sort of working – the women at Weirdo’s, where he works at night, have been more friendly with him, kissing him on the cheek and asking to take a bite of his sandwich.  We had a listener tell us yesterday it’s working for him, too, which reminded Jason that he’s got the one thing that will seal the deal for Nick:  his 2001 Hot-Topic-bargain-bin button-down with some poorly-executed Japanese on it.  Look at this tent of a shirt.  It’s gonna be a closer, for sure.

 

MORE NEWS ANCHOR MISHAPS:

 

We love it when reporters mess up - just look at Serene Branson.  We have found the latest anchor casualty to have an “episode” while on camera.   Kate Wilson, an Australian news anchor, got the hiccups while reading the news.  Hilarity ensued.  Deb’s just glad that she’s only had hiccups on-air once.  Check out the audio here.

 

LOVE-A-BULL DOG OF THE WEEK:

 

”description”Check out the latest dog up for adoption from our friends at Love-A-Bull.  This is Coco, and if you’re as lazy as Jason, you’ll love her.  She has one bad leg, so it’s hard to go out running, but she loves snuggling.  Coco’s very sweet, well-trained, and is up to date with all her shots, et cetera.  To get more information on Coco and all her friends, check out Love-A-Bull here.

 

I LOVE YOU CALL:

 

At 8:45 Deb calls a random business and tries to trick the person answering the phone into saying, “I love you.”  Today we tried to call Sports Authority, but Jason mis-dialed, and we ended up with Credex, an “alternative payment” business.  Deb said that she’s happy to have found them, since she needs to set up some online payments for bills, and she’d check out their website.  While the girl answering the phone giggled, she did not give an “I love you.”  Misdial butt-slam.

 

DOES DEB KNOW STUFF:

 

Every day we “trivialize” Deb by asking her questions on a variety of subjects, then laughing when she doesn’t know the answers.  Today we had Charlie Sheen movie trivia.  In which movie was he pursued by police in a high-speed chase while doing it in the front seat of the car?  The Chase was the movie, but Deb didn’t have any idea.  What about when he was a garbage man who finds a dead politician’s body?  She had absolutely no idea.  The Trash Man was her best guess, but Men At Work was, in fact, it.  What about when he played a wayward drug addict who teaches a teenage girl how to loosen up?  Obviously it was not her guess of Clueless, but Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.  “Are you in here for drugs?”  How could you not know that?

 

REWIND:  UNDER WHERE?

 

If a man takes you to Victoria’s Secret and buys you underwear, should you wear it for anyone else? Jason says that it all comes out in the wash…metaphorically speaking. Jason bought a girl sexy underwear, and never saw them on her before they broke up. Caller Jake says that if she respects her ex, a girl won’t recycle the panties, but if she doesn’t, it’s fair game. Anthony called in to say that as a guy, he doesn’t care, as long as they come off. Listener Alan says that it’s okay, it’s no longer any of his business, it’s not like he’ll break up with her and demand them back. That’s a relief! Now Deb can go back to her archived underwear drawer and pull out some fun old stuff. Pictures? In your dreams.

 

NEWS:

 

This just in - the Pope said the Jews did not kill Jesus.  Pope Benedict XVI explained that there is no reason to believe that Jewish people were not collectively responsible for Jesus’ death.  The Pope wrote this in his new book scheduled to be released next week. 

 

SPORTS:

 

BYU is currently ranked 3rd in Men’s College Basketball, but dismissed their 3rd leading scorer and leading rebounder, sophomore Brandon Davies.  He was dismissed from the team after they found out that he had sex.  It is against BYU’s code of conduct for any of their students’s to have sex outside of marriage while attending BYU.

 

The Lady Longhorns defeated Texas Tech with a final score of 83 to 59.  They improve to 18 and 11 on the season.

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