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Offending My Super Power

Dear Diary

 
Today I need to address a very serious matter. A matter that I believe has reached epic proportions. Today, we need to talk about after shave. Perfume. Cologne. Axe body spray. Any product you spray all over your body parts in an effort to mask something nasty or in an attempt to procure the attention of the opposite sex. Or the same sex. Or whatever. This message goes out to you: JUST STOP. Please. OR at least SLOW YOUR ROLL with that stuff. The world implores you. Listen, that fragrance that appeals to you so much as you glob spray after spray all over your tainted body is like the plague to everyone else. Wait, hold on. There is in fact one acceptable time for you to lightly mist a fragrance over yourself - after a shower. once you've dried off, if you feel the need to add to your already nicely scented soap cleansed person, so be it. BUT! Be warned: a little goes a long way. In fact the official way you're supposed to wear any spray product is just point it up into the air and walk through it. Do not spray directly onto your body, and NEVER EVER spray onto your clothes. If your clothes are smelly or dirty, WASH THEM! When you spray them you do not mask the cigarette smoke, BO, or general grimy smells. All you do is add your gross cologne smell to that dirt. Trust me, we can all tell what you've done. It's gross. Please, please, over cologne person, chill out with that stuff. You're giving everyone a headache.

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