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My Mum's A Criminal!

”description”Dear Diary. The other day I was talking on the phone with my mum. As I live 3000 miles away from her, we usually talk once or twice a week and in great detail. I love my mum, she is very sweet and caring and a model mother - she even bakes her own bread. You know how mothers and daughters are. Anyway, so there we were gossiping about my brothers badly behaved kids or nutty Aunt, when all of a sudden she dropped this nugget on me:...
“Oh yeah, the other day, I got a speeding ticket the other day! I was going 58 in a 50! Isn't that funny? I got my first speeding ticket at 60!” What? My mum? No way! This may not seem like a big deal to you, but my mum is the mum that has never said a swear word worse than bloody. She won't watch any movie rated higher than a PG or South Park because it's crude. She's in bed by 10 every night and can't handle more than two glasses of wine. She only knows about drugs because my step brother smokes “the Hash” as she calls it, and has absolutely never, I mean ever broken the law. And here she is proud of her indiscretion. Obviously, I didn't get my law breaking ways from her. My dad got a new speeding and or parking ticket every week when I was a kid, and frequently ran out of petrol. We were on holiday in Malta once and he parked outside the prime minister's house and we all almost got shot. Anyway, I digress. My mum has crossed over to the other side, and is proud of it. What's next I wonder? Selling cigarettes to the local kids or running mail order bride scams?

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