Deb's Diary Archive

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I AM BROKEN...

”description”Dear Diary; There's something wrong with me. It's not the TB, not the almost drowning this weekend, or even that I'm always poor. Basically, I'm broken inside. I'm not complaining about not getting any dates or anything like that, because that's not the case. I went out with J-Date Dave last week, and it was perfect. He came to pick me up on time, gave me a beautiful bouquet of lilies and then waited 20 minutes for me while I ironed my shirt. He open all the doors, paid for everything, and gave me a nice hug and kiss on the cheek on my front porch. But do I want to see him again?...
Probably not. The truth is I don't care. The truth is that I still wake up thinking of the man who broke my heart this February. The truth is I still dream about him every other night or so, and think we're back together. I accidentally refer to him as my boyfriend all the time, and can't seem to get rid of his picture in my bedroom. Wait - there's more. After he broke up with me, I got conned into going out with the millionaire douche bag we call Drunk Ricky. I thought that would get my mind off Johnny Mustache. Nope, because he gave me a new set of problems when I found out that his version of "separated" meant still very much married. I've told him to eff off, but he keeps texting randomly, doing my head in all the time. Then there's the guy I had a romance with 5 years ago, who recently got back in touch after his marriage failed. I've always held a huge flame for him since we dated, and thought there was going to be it. Nope, he too has since douched me over. Even poor Mr. X's chances aren't looking good. As hot and funny and available as he is, I just can't make myself feel anything, except for all the wrong men. My best friend calls me a masochist. Maybe that's true. But I don't want to hate men forever - I've got a womb with a time limit on it. What can I do diary, to move on and leave these bastards behind so I can fall in love with a nice millionaire Jew or unemployed musician again? Please help me...

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